Red Sonja here, and I'm standing on this hill in a medieval setting because it just so happens to be where my story begins.
I was born thirty years ago in a small village nestled in the heart of a vast kingdom. My parents were simple farmers who worked hard every day to make ends meet. They always told me that I could achieve anything if I set my mind to it, and they instilled in me a sense of pride and determination that would serve me well in the years to come.
As I grew older, I became aware of how different I was from other girls in my village. For one thing, I was much stronger than most of them, with broad shoulders and strong arms that could lift heavy weights without breaking a sweat. And then there were my teardrop breasts - really huge, you might say! They made me feel proud and confident, like nothing could ever hold me back.
But it wasn't until I was older still that I discovered my true calling in life. You see, I had always been fascinated by the stories of heroes who traveled far and wide, fighting for justice and righting wrongs wherever they went. And one day, when I was about twenty years old, I decided to set out on my own adventure.
I packed up all of my belongings - which didn't take long, since I had very little - and headed off into the world with nothing but my sword, my wits, and my determination. And that's how I became Red Sonja, a fearless warrior who has fought countless battles against all manner of enemies, from savage barbarians to cunning sorcerers.
But enough about me - what brings you here, my friend?